helo or hi or watever

XTIAN


"its been a while since nag usap tayo and nag iisip isip ako...

madami akong tanong sayo pero di ko masabi.. naguguluhan din ako, actually naguguluhan ako sayo.

alam ko youre in the moment of your life na mhirap coz of your current break up with your gf, i know that you still love her. i know that and i dont want to make it hard for you kaya nanahimik ako.

gusto kita raimus, as in alot. pero di ko alam kung gusto mo din ako. i know i am not perfect, for one, i am not a girl. but i am somebody who is ready to love you, honestly whole heartedly and unconditionally. just let me.

pero ayoko ipilit sarili ko sayo. alam ko nakukulitan ka na din sakin. hindi ko alam kung TH b ko, pero i felt a connection with you in the last instances that we are together. di ko alam kung tama b o mali.

i am not expecting a reply from this message. but if you will do so, thank you. kung hindi, maybe that would be the right time for me to move on and let my heart beat for somebody else. i want to be love now, and i hope by you. pero kung hindi talaga pede, maybe i deserve somebody else. just always remember that i had happy times nung mga panahon na kasama kita. thank you. and take care of your self. be happy."

RAIMUS

"thx for understanding, ryt now im still trying to move on, pero im doing good naman eh,"

XTIAN again

"hmm... tama ka. hindi mo p kaya sabihin talaga ngayun.. coz youre still in love with her. i am willing to wait.. sana worth it yung patience ko. pero rai, sana wag matagal kasi baka may ibang dumating. ikaw talaga gusto ko. pero kung ayaw mo sakin wala ako magagwa.

maghihintay ako hanggang sabihin mo n yung dapat mong sabihin. pero sana sa panahon n yun... mahal p din kita.

for now. i keep my silence and let you heal. pero hindi n ko aasa sayo."


TANGA BA KO O TALAGANG MAHAL KO LANG TALAGA SIYA... AYOKO SIYA IWAN SA MGA PANAHON NA TO... PERO SIYA NAGTUTULAK SAKIN PALAYO...

I met raimus last year when I am with my college frends in Baclaran. (galing kami sa Makati to look for a company for our OJT)Biglang dumaan tong lalaking guwapo na medyo chubby (na most of the time i like), then out of my shock, kilala siya ng mga friends ko, apparently, they were classmates way back in high school. Then ayun, kamustahan sila... ako deadma lang... pero nakatingin ako sa kanya and he was looking back to me as well. I got his number from my friends then txted him but unfortunately, he has a girlfriend at that time so he actually rejected me at once though i know that he is PLU (people like us). Ok. Deadma. Comatose ako sa kanya.

three months later...
AMPUTA, biglang tumunog cellphone ko! Number na hindi ko kilala... "hu u??"... "raimus to, yung frend ni cams"... OMG! WTF! TMTH! what on earth?? and then we texted... we met again in cams place... for a couple of times... i flirted.. he flirted back but he still has his chakaness GF at that time...

AT ayun na nga... isang araw... umagang umaga... CHAT sa YM...

"BREAK na KAMI".

Updates. In a nutshell.

One important thing which happened these past months is my GRADUATION! Yes, finally, pagkatapos ng anim na taon, (one in UPD, one in PUP and Four in DLSU-D) masasabi ko n din n degree holder ako. But i dont know what happened to me during my commencement exercise day.. para kasing it's just any other day to me. Peculiar indeed. Pagkatapos ng hirap at sarap nkuha ko na din yung pinakakaasam asam kong diploma. Maybe coz, I know that this is just the beginning of everything and in fact, I am starting a new chapter of my chronicles.




Ok. So that is one big event for me. I had a graduation celebration at my house after my Baccalaureate mass which my friends and classmates attended to. Yun nga lang, the people which I would gladly want to see at that momentous event din not come for their own personal irrational reasons. HMP!

So kelangan icelebrate ang kaganapang ito at hindi ako pumayag na ganun ganun na lang. Since my ate carol just went back from her work abroad, she wants to go to Baguio. So together with our uncle's family, we drove to Baguio City and stayed their for one night. Kahit bitin yung gala namin ayus lang kasi naikot naman lahat those beautiful sites that place can offer. We had a bonding din with my cousins, of course with liquor on the table. hehehe. At syempre, hindi naman ako papatalo sa kanila kahit puro barako sila. heheheheh



And so what's the next event!??? Of course, my block mates' Puerto Galera Trip! Ayun nga. Kahit super planned na, konti pa din kaming sumama. We were eleven who moved our asses and head towards the White Beach of Galera. It was my first time to go to that place. And DAMN! it was majestic. I know that the place is quiet enticing and fantabulous. But upon seeing the whole place i was vividly amazed with the scenes. We stayed there for three days and two nights. Bitin p din kahit ganun. I just enjoyed the sun, the beach and the BOYS! joke! wala no! behave kaya ako dun... kahit na niyaya ako ng gay frend ko sa Jurassic Park, deadma lang ako! hahaha.. maybe next time! (waH!) Madaming nice pics na kinuha ko dun with my friends as my subject pero nasa multiply account ko. Just check it out. Here are some pictures.





Ayan, after that Galera trip, here I am again trying to figure out what to do next in my life. I am currently looking for a job. Hope to find one soon.

Two Months of Nothingness

Yes. I am blogging again after two months of keeping my silence and trying to hide all the mysteries which are happening to me over these two months. Here I am again thinking of things which I don't usually do. Randomness. Is this a sign of officially being unemployed? Of being a BUMMER. Waahh...!!!??

Anyways, in spite of the fact that I am not busy nowadays, and practically doing nothing; one thing which made me finally decide to write again is the reality of continuing this chronicle. And I want to make it commercial now. OOPS! I am not advertising this blog but I just want to communicate to other bloggers out there and probably meet new friends. And yes, I will come out now. This is my personal diary now and I will detail all the things which are happening to my life now as well as the dark past which made me like this.

And DUH! For now, I will use my native tongue in writing. Hindi ko kasi ma express maigi ang sarili ko sa English. Hindi naman sa masyado akong "trying hard" mag english, pero dati gusto ko yun ang gamitin para mas maigsi. But now, I will mixed it up with Filipino words.