UPDATES. Randomness

Since the year came, I was so lazy to blog and I don't know what's blocking me to write and share my crazy thoughts in this page. Maybe because I don't want to say anything out loud and just keep it inside my system. Yes! I am becoming to be more MASOCHIST. I want to accumulate all the hang ups and pain inside me and just continue to be so damn pitiful to myself. But for the sake of moving on in this fucking life I have, these are the updates (boring updates)...

.... I had a terrible tour (which was postponed for a while) in Pangasinan. 3 days of a hell life living in a place which you can just trade of living in hell. I don't want to detail about that anymore. I HATE that tour!

.... I am so busy (or should I say trying to get busy) with my school works. Many deadlines and exams. But at least in a matter of a month now, this will all be gone and a new chapter will be turn.

.... I had a fight with my father. How I wish he wasn't my father. ( I will detail this soon)

.... My sister's package arrived already after three long waiting months. I have my Chuck Taylor and Shisha there. Love it!

.... I feel completely blank this past few days or weeks. I feel so alone. I feel tired of being sole. hayss...

.... Nothing more I think.

I told you it was hell boring. My life is hopeless. All I want to do right now is disappear.

I am LOST.

Its 2009 now and in a matter of three months, at least, I will be getting my diploma for my degree. Yes, it is very nice to hear that I will, finally after the rocky road which I had gone through, taste the sweetness of being a college graduate.

But wait,is it really the most awaited finale of my life or it is just the beginning of a more challenging, mind-boggling and hormones-raging chapter of this f*ckin life I have. Recently, I was trying to figure out the right thing for me to do after I graduate. The path that I should take. Actually, my degree is kinda flexible with regards to employment and I am confident of my credentials and my potentials as a professional, but the thing is, I have this predicament of taking the more healthy opportunity to work abroad or stay here in Pinas with a not-so competent salary.

Maybe, people would say that this situation is just a piece of cake. They would say that definitely I should take my chances in foreign land because of the greener pasture. But you know what makes this situation complex, going abroad would also make me leave my parents alone here. My two older sisters had been working in other countries for quiet some time now and for the past four years, my parents and I were the one staying in our house. Its sad. Its quiet. Its boring. Most of the time I am in my school but that is a different story if I will be gone to other countries.

I asked my two sisters about my issue and they both agreed that I ought to stay for a while with my parents. It would be really difficult for my parents if all of their loving children will be away from them. I tackle this also to my mom and she agreed with my sisters but she also gave me the prerogative to make the final decision. hays...

I still have three months to think about this. And I really hope that I will make the better decision.