Is it really a MERRY XMAS??

My sister from Dubai asked me to do a task for the Christmas. Since she and my other sister were abroad working, it is only me and my parents who will be celebrating(this is the second consecutive year). My task is simple. I will go out with my parents to eat in some good place and if I will do so I will be rewarded(money of course hehe).So we had a "Christmas Lunch" in Le Garden which is a Hong Kong Restaurant. It is located at Paseo de Carmona, so it is only near to our house. We were so satisfied with the foods that is why we had some take outs hehe... Merry Christmas to all...



I love my parents.. hehe!(ows???!!)

And then I miss him...

To live in this world, you must be able to do three things:
to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones
knowing your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go, let it go.

Yes, that is exactly what I did. I let him go in spite of the pain which I still hold to myself until now. I am not bitter. I can say, with all the courage that I had already moved on. I know how to accept realities and if I know that something is not meant for me, I loosen up my grip to that. But still I am a vulnerable to feel that sadness and cruelty of loosing somebody whom I valued most in my life. That somebody who made me feel some sort of love and affection even he doesn't show so much emotions.

I met Migi when I transferred to La Salle, we were in first year then (actually that was supposed to be my 3rd year in college). He was the first person which I noticed in the class because he was so cute, he's like a true celebrity. And when I say celebrity as in goooood-looking. So he became my crush. I know at that time that he is like me, he is very demure-shy-type-with-a-nice-cute-smile. But to cut this story short, I tried to be-close to him and I was successful. We became super close friends because we are same even if we are in the opposite side of the spectrum. We don't have anything in common, as in nothing. But still we became best friends. And my crush thinggy to him suddenly vanished because I valued our friendship.

The rest of this story will be post next time... This is one of the stories which I will repeatedly tell to anyone else.

I was chatting to April a while ago. Then she said that Migi is online in YM, she asked if I want to get the ID and I affirmed. I message him but he did not respond. I was like a kid telling April that he did not respond and she told me that Migi was offline already coz he will do some important things. She then send me their whole conversation in YM. I read it. Every bit of that conversation struck my whole being. I don't know why. Maybe because I felt that I am the one he was chatting to in that conversation. Yes, I miss him. In their conversation he said that he misses us(his friends) all too . *sigh

PS. Migi is my best friend before, but we parted ways because of some immature and irrelevant reasons. And since then, we did not hang out anymore.

This is the old fun days.

Just Kill Me

This past few weeks have been such a busy one for me (or I am just making it so complicated). Many things happened, and for so many reasons, I am down again. I am concealing again the pain and hatred which I have inside of me. I wanna die now. I wanna end this once and for all. But I don't have the strength to stop my journey. This damn journey!

There is no reason for me to be happy. (Am i just too insecure and envious or this is the right feeling)

Christmas is just around the corner. The Holidays as they say. The right season to be happy. The cold breeze which makes people feel the true spirit of giving and loving. And then me. Here. Alone. Tired. Pathetic. But I am still thinking, am I the only one feeling this. Do i deserved this?

I don't want to be so pitiful to myself. I know I am beginning to be so melodramatic again. But what should I do? I have alot of pressures now. Many things to accomplish. I should be responsible. I need to be productive. But how would I do this if I am so fuckin down...

BOTTOMLINE: I need some motivation.

Or just kill me.